Make Up = Makes You Fancy: The Power of Words
Today Elf and I were in the kitchen when she asked to use some of my makeup. I watched her, deeply concentrating as she applied some brownish stuff to her cheeks. Satisfied, she put down the brush. She smiled a triumphant smile at herself for a job she considered well done, dimples fully present. Then she proclaimed, “Now I look pretty.” My heart sank. “Uh oh,” a voice inside my head said.
My little Elf loves my make up. What kid doesn’t? It’s fun, interesting and it can sure make some cool stuff happen to your face. Then again, it can also do groovy stuff to walls. Ask Giant about that. But me and my Magic Eraser digress…
While applying my own make up, which I probably do in a year fewer than the number of fingers I have on my right hand, I know that I must have said it. Where else would Elf have heard those words? An off-hand remark several weeks ago clearly had stayed with Elf. In a wisp of whimsy, not thinking, I had inadvertently transferred a cultural message that I had vehemently sworn I would never, ever transfer to her.
Make up = Makes you Pretty
As Elf’s words came out into the air, I know that Betty Friedan rolled in her grave. It was critical to save the moment because I was most appalled that my daughter had learned that message from me, a staunch feminist. Or at least that’s who I thought I was…
The moment required some spin. I remind Elf that prettiness comes from inside you; it’s not something that’s on the outside of you.
And so I invented a new formula on the spot:
Make up = Makes you Fancy
Seeing as we just went to the circus several weeks ago, this had a desired effect on her and she skipped away happily. “Okay, Mommy!”
Yet deep in my heart – in that sacred sphere of adult knowing – I was humbled at a fundamental truth. Words can lift people up. Words can knock people down. Words have power – especially the words of a parent to a child. Will she remember these few moments in the kitchen when she’s older? Probably not. However, I hope I do.
Here’s to staying mindful, present and thoughtful in your words…
Photo source: http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/107629/young_girls_putting_on_makeup
