Archive for the ‘Love’ tag

Runnin’ From Baby Jesus

So the other night, our neighbor set up the nativity scene in the front yard. It’s a fairly old version of the manger scene and this year, we have a new twist: the baby Jesus flickers a bit more than it has in past years. Which is why, Elf took one look at it and ran yelling down the hallway. When I asked her what happened, she said: “I’m runnin’ away from Baby Jesus! He’s scaren’ me!”

And as the final days come to a close on the month of December, we celebrate all that the season has to offer – menorahs, bells, snow, trees, advent wreaths, ginger-bread making, light-watching and Santa Claus – even if it involves walking a little faster past a blinking Baby Jesus every once in a while. And, of course, the humor that can be found in stories like the one above.

Blessings and gifts appear when you become aware and conscious of them. Hubby and I work hard to raise that awareness in our children, especially the joy in non-material items and experiences. It can be really tough work to go against what lots of other parents consider the norm for their children. But we strive to cultivate a sense of joy in nature, a sense of interconnectedness and appreciation for the work of others – even if we can’t see it.

Now that school is out for the year, we can breathe more freely. Freedom and flexibility are their own blessings. The need to adhere to tighter time frames is lifted for this brief time. Our family is free to linger a little longer, cuddle and snuggle a little longer and play with long-time friends who now attend different schools and various after school activities that conflict with our own. Hubby and I can enjoy the sounds of Elf and Giant calmly working out a problem together and all of us can enjoy staying cozy and warm inside on a chilly day. We can relish the ability to make choices about whether we do a craft or homework. We can wear pajamas all day.

And that is precisely what we’re going to do. Breathe, enjoy and create memories.

From all of us at the Little Yellow House, may this holiday season bring you peace, joy and love. And may your days be merry and bright.

Source: This is not my neighbor’s nativity set. This photo is sourced to an internet-based catalog.

Cooking, Connections and Blessings

I happen to be lucky when it comes to cooking. I come from a solid line of talented Pennsylvania Dutch cooks who welcomed me into their kitchens from an early age. It was often a messy experience for both of us, but they kept inviting me in and I kept coming. They enjoyed cooking and I enjoyed being with them while they cooked. I still enjoy hanging out in the kitchen with my mom and am double blessed to have a mother-in-law who loves to let me help out, too.

I intuitively felt the person-to-person connection that happens when you cook together early on and even tried to capture it on a cassette recording many years ago. On a whim, I taped my grandmother’s and my conversation while we worked together to create her oh-so-fine, oh-so-amazingly tantalizing saffron chicken. What a treasure that recording is to me. As we tinkered around in the kitchen, you can hear the happiness in her voice; she is busy and if you listen closely enough, you can hear the sounds of some of her favorite pots and pans – some of which I now own – clinking and clanking in the background.

I grew up with great memories that combined food, connection and love. So it didn’t come as a surprise when I read Bill Penzey’s recent editorial in his spice catalog of the same name. In the December (2009) issue, he passionately encourages readers:

You have the power to spread the joy that is cooking; the holidays are the perfect time to make it happen…Maybe it is…pulling that novice into the kitchen and sharing a bit of what you know with them…Give them that feeling of knowing that part of the smiles around the table were their doing and you will have gone a long way in sharing what cooking is all about.

Well said, Bill.

Thanks to women like my grandmother, mother and my mother-in-law, I do love to cook. Penzey notes that those who love to cook had at least one person in their life who showed them “the value that comes to life through cooking.” As a result of the connection that I felt to adults who loved me and showed it – as well as how good the end result tasted – I do love to let others know how much I care about them through my cooking. When I was invited into their kitchens, they were showing me love. I could feel it. When they cooked for me, they showed me love. And now I’m doing the same for my own family.

As the holidays approach, I encourage you to be brave. Go ahead, open up that kitchen, hand out aprons and invite your loved ones around to help. Let them get messy, let them giggle and for goodness sake, let them lick the spoon every once in a while.

Happy holidays from our house to yours,

Chris

Photo source: http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/kidscooking.htm

Standing Tall

This week, our trip to the local library yielded one of those larger-than-life moments when we brought a book home about the Empire State Building in New York City. Giant and I read the book, cover to cover, as we sat together snuggled cozily under the weight of the blankets that cover his bed. We read of the adventures of the sky boys, the specialists, riveter gangs, water boys and all of those responsible for raising a monolith off from a piece of paper into reality.

It wasn’t long before skyscrapers in general took on a life of their own here at the Little Yellow House. It’s official: Giant has discovered skyscrapers. For those who follow my blog (thanks!), or for those who know our family, you know that Giant is five years old. Five-and-a-half, if you ask him. He is inquisitive and fascinated with structures of all types, so this adoration and desire to learn all that he can about skyscrapers really comes as no surprise.

However, I can’t help but take it one step further. If you think about it, skyscrapers can be a metaphor for not your own children’s lives but also for the lives of children everywhere. For those entrusted to care for their hearts, bodies and minds, we want to raise our children to be straight, flexible when necessary and strong…able to stand on their own in all types of weather.

Recently, Joe Biden said, as he remembered his friend and colleague, Senator Edward Kennedy, remarked that Kennedy was “never small.”* Though the two are worlds apart, there’s an element of that description in both of my children.

It is also my dream for them.

In Elf, who’s two years old, I see the spunk, wit and spit of a prize fighter running through her veins. (Neither Hubby nor I will admit which one of us is responsible for that!) She is happy and knows what she likes. And, she’s not afraid to tell you. She also knows what she doesn’t like, which mostly consists of vegetables for the moment. When she mixes the batter for muffins, her face contracts in concentration, tongue sticking out a little from the corner of her mouth. When she runs, she runs with all of her body, arms pumping and a huge smile on her face. When she screams in anger or frustration, she screams loud…really loud. She embodies life in its purest and rawest form.

In Giant, I witness a child who can seem larger than life with his robust energy and zest for the world. And with age, I am witness to his evolving sense of right and wrong and his love for the earth. Here is a tenacious child who can express his many feelings, one who has been much too busy building and racing his cars and trucks around to notice art supplies and now spends hours creating maps, pictures of cats and people. He’s curious about words and how they work and often attempts to craft the letters of the alphabet and numbers that he’s exposed to daily into real words. I enjoy sharing jokes with him, catching him by surprise to see if I can catch his eyes light up and dreaming up big plans.

Nature graced us and blessed us with two beautiful and precious babies. Those who raised the Empire State Building first began with raw materials and wove them together to create something beautiful. We hope to do the same in raising our children.

How my husband and I choose to create and nurture connections—or not—how we choose to inspire our children, build confidence and believe in their ability to achieve their dreams all make a difference…for we are building the foundations for the man and woman they will ultimately become.

Regardless of what path each one of our children chooses, my husband and I hope that our children will never be or feel small in this lifetime. May they always stand tall…just like the mighty skyscrapers.

*http://www.examiner.com/x-12837-US-Headlines-Examiner~y2009m8d26-Ted-Kennedy-remembered-by-Vice-President-Joe-Biden

Milk and Cookies for Breakfast

Source: Jeremy Novak @ http://www.pbase.com/jgn/image/55347059

The saying goes that before I had kids, I was the perfect parent. Since it’s early in the morning, I’ll raise a big cup of coffee to that. Before Elf and Giant entered the picture, I had it all planned out…100% organic food, classical music, wooden and educational toys (i.e., no plastic), no TV unless it was public television and weekly trips to cultural events of every kind. I know, I was barely living in reality! I laugh now, remembering how serious I was about it all. And then Elf and Giant arrived along with diapers, play dates, sickness…real people and the real world. That’s when and where my life, already intertwined with my husband’s, morphed into an even more vibrant tapestry. Our lives really began when Elf and Giant arrived. It’s when my husband and I were forced to begin the process of sorting out the difference between where we thought we stood on certain issues and where we actually stood.

I’m glad to say that some of the pledges have remained in tact, yet most have been modified. The kids listen and move to the rhythms of classical music but they also dance and play to country music and jazz. My kids play with plastic toys…lots and lots of them. We eat as much organic food as we can, but realize that this diet can easily deplete our monthly income if eaten consistently and exclusively. So, some of our pledges have remained while others have slipped away…some a little more quickly than others. Over the years, I’ve learned that the right kind of television is okay and even helpful to explain aspects of our world, the Grandmas’ Pennsylvania Dutch cooking and family recipes are okay in moderation (‘tho I still held the line with those gravy-drenched mashed potatoes when the kids were 6 months old and just starting solids) and ice cream really does wonders to cool you down on a dog-hot day. It’s okay. It’s all good. It’s loving. It really is. It’s that ever-elusive balance we’re all seeking.

So today, when I found a recipe for Breakfast Cookies* and milk, I didn’t put the recipe off to the side for another day. I went ahead and whipped up a bunch to share with the kids over breakfast. They were a hit. The kids smiled at each other. Giant shared his with Elf, without complaint. And she shared back with him. It sure was a nice change from our usual routine. And if the smiles and good will were any indication, we all enjoyed something different for a change.

What new thing did you try or do this week?

*Recipe from Missy Chase Lapine’s book, “The Sneaky Chef”

SNEAKY CHEF’S BREAKFAST COOKIES
Nutrition Highlights: whole grains, calcium, and protein. Rich in vitamins B and E, iron, potassium, folic acid, calcium, tryptophan protein, and fiber.
2 cups whole grain cereal flakes (such as Wheaties or Total)
3/4 cup Flour Blend (1/4 cup white flour, 1/4 cup whole wheat flour, and 1/4 cup wheat germ)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 large egg
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup canola oil
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3/4 cup low-fat ricotta cheese
Cinnamon sugar for dusting*
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper (or spray with oil).
2. Using a rolling pin, gently crush the cereal (in a sealed plastic bag) into coarsely crushed flakes. Alternatively, you can quickly pulse the cereal in a food processor.
3. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together Flour Blend, crushed cereal, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. In another bowl, whisk together egg, sugar, oil, vanilla, and ricotta cheese. Add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix just enough to moisten dry ingredients. Drop single tablespoonfuls onto the baking sheets, leaving about an inch between cookies. Flatten cookies with the back of a fork and then sprinkle tops generously with cinnamon sugar (or just sugar if your kids don’t like the cinnamon flavor). Bake about 18 to 20 minutes, or until nicely browned and crispy around the edges.
Makes 16 to 18 large cookies.
*Cinnamon has been found to help stabilize blood-glucose levels, thereby preventing the usual “crash and burn” feeling we all get after eating sweets.
© Missy Chase Lapine, all rights reserved.

Mom-isms: ReEnchant Style

This week ParentsConnect and Twittermoms.com created a new contest encouraging readers to share their favorite made up words specific to children and parenthood. So many of us have our own little special words for kids, diapers, carpool lanes and lovies and lots of fun-loving folks didn’t mind sharing their favorites. The contest received many humorous and endearing contributions which started me on the path to wondering about my own family’s lexicon now that we have Elf and Giant. In this week’s blog, I share a few of the words that we use quite often at our little Yellow House and you’ll get some insights into our crazy, chaotic and colorful world.

ReEnchant inspires us to look at things from a different perspective, so why not choose the lens of laughs, “oops!” and yikes sometimes?! Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to share your own.

Special thanks to my creative hubby, JR, who got into the spirit by providing his own contributions.

So, without further ado, here are some “Momfinitions”…ReEnchant Style.

Green Ranger: Noun
The special and complimentary name for a person who does a good deed for the earth.

“You turned off the light. You’re such a green ranger!”

Bikosaur: Noun
Term used to describe someone who chooses to use his/her bicycle as transportation rather than for purely recreational purposes.

“We are bikosaurs. We are only one of two families (in a school of close to 1,000 children) who choose to ride our bicycles to school and back home on a regular basis.”

Yadowat: (ya’-do-wat) Interjection
The word, spoken with an inquisitive and rather alarmed tone, we heard after informing school officials that we ride our bicycles to school.

Me: “Yes, we ride our bikes to school.”

School officials/representatives: “Yadowat!? Isn’t that dangerous?
Let me have you fill out a form…just
in case.”

The Eagle: Noun
At the Yellow House, this is the code word for poo in the bathtub.

“Oh no, there’s an Eagle in the bathtub! Everybody get out now!!!”

Note: The term, The Eagle, is not to be confused with the historically important phrase, “The Eagle Has Landed.” Although that’d be really funny to hear coming from the bathroom.

Dust Blindness: Noun
Pretending that you don’t see the dust that’s accumulated on your furniture while you’ve been busy supporting, educating, feeding, nursing, debriefing, guiding and coaxing reluctant children to do what they’re supposed to be doing, cooking and preparing umpteen “nutritious” meals and snacks a day, “doing” the laundry, washing and drying the dishes, shopping, vacuuming, taking care of the bills, taxi-ing children to and fro, taking care of the household correspondence AND that’s all on top of working your full or part-time job that pays a salary, which is probably too low for what you actually do.

“Yes, I’d love to invite you over for lunch today, but I’m just recovering from Dust Blindness and the house really needs some attention.”

Aqualanche: Noun
Term for the water that ends up running out of the bathtub and onto the bathroom floor when your kids decide to play Star Wars in the bathtub.

“Oh no! We just had an aqualanche and I’m out of clean towels to dry the floor! But at least Han Solo and Chewbacca are safe.”

Neotopia: Noun
Name for the ideal world where first aid products like Neosporin and Hello Kitty band aids can be found in every draw of your home, car and purse/diaper bag AND are quickly accessible in the event of an emergency.

“We were out in the middle of a hike when she feel and hurt her knee. I left all of my first aid supplies back in the car! This never would have happened if we lived in Neotopia…”

Tantrumathon: Noun
The days when each one of your children has more than one meltdown.

Message heard on an answering machine: “It’s 100 degrees outside, the air conditioning doesn’t work and I’m out of popsicles. I’d come answer the phone, but I’m living in the midst of a tantrumathon!”

Vanicide: Noun
The act of signing the purchase paperwork for the van you swore you’d never buy.

“I’ve committed vanicide. I’m now the proud owner of a minivan…but at least it’s red.”

Sardining: Verb
Squeezing two children in the bathtub at the same time in order to save time…oh, and water, too! Bonus points if you can squeeze in there too for a quick shampoo and rinse.

“Elf and Giant had a great time sardining in the tub tonight. It was a cozy fit, but when you’ve got an imaginary coffee house to run, tight quarters can make for a very efficient business.”

*Descending Medicalitus: Noun
After the first child, the declining need to administer immediate first aid and place high-priority calls at all hours of the day and night to the pediatrician with each successive child that you have.

“Elf has a fever. It’s not high. I just gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed. She’ll be fine. If this had happened with Giant when he was this age, I would have been at the pediatrician’s office ASAP!”

*Germflow: Adjective
The faster-than-a-speeding-train way that germs take in passing from one child to the next, especially in families.

“Wow! I had no sooner gotten Elf home from the doctor than Giant had pink eye, too! Two trips and two co-pays to the pediatrician all in one day.”

*JR’s creative spark at work

Parenthood is tough, rocky and a gift to those fortunate enough to live it. May you find love, laughter and goodness in the coming week. Enjoy the gift and then remember to pass it on to others.

Chris

You Are The Calm To Your Child’s Storm: A New Take on Temper Tantrums

So you want to know how things are coming along in the Calm Down Corner (CDC)? Yes, I can see you nodding your head. Well, I’m nervous about jinxing us here in the yellow house but also quite pleased to report that Giant’s daily practice sessions in the Calm Down Corner seem to be having a positive impact. He continues to see this place as a peaceful, good spot in our home, which is precisely what we intend for it to be. Consistent, daily practice is what seems to be helping to create a path to success.

While the CDC has had a successful launch, I’d be lying if I said that we are living a tantrum-free life. Not by a long shot…

Prevention is the first goal. However, there are days when emotions boil over, patience runs out, bellies are hungry, bodies are worn out and at least around here, the weather can be quite hot and steamy. You can feel the energy rising. Sometimes you can see it, too. Your child’s voice tightens, the face winces and then…watch out…here it comes.

So what to do with a screaming, thrashing and wiggling body? Today I want to share a perspective on bringing your little one back to reality after he/she’s passed the threshold from almost-tantrumming to the throes of a mind-blowing temper tantrum.

In her book, Conscious Discipline, Becky Bailey talks a lot about empathy, the ability and willingness to “be” with another person. During a temper tantrum, Bailey encourages parents, teachers and caregivers of young children to serve as the child’s mirror. “Empathy requires we listen to children’s thoughts and feelings without the need to change them. It is not about “happying up” children. It’s about leaving them with their situation or choice so they can reflect and take responsibility. Empathy helps organize the brain.” And so empathy requires that we listen to the child without changing the problem or the child’s feelings.

Now it must be said that the following really does work much better with Giant (5) than it does for Elf (2). However, I am able to use it in a very modified version for Elf, who is quite verbal. And I do get to practice this a lot with Elf, often several times a day, as she is two years old…very two.

Adults can help children who are having a difficult time navigating disappointment, frustration and/or anger by serving as their mirrors. Slow and thoughtful observations and careful listening help bring a child out of a scary and frightening space. It’s the same as a life guard who guides and supports someone who’s drowning to solid ground. We cannot expect kiddos to be able to do this by themselves until they are much older. Even then, have you ever known an adult who can’t or won’t gracefully deal with strong feelings? I know I’ve met one or two along the way.

So without further ado, I give you the Bailey method, which has been a power-house tool for helping us and our children handle their most difficult moments. This one is for us…

Step #1:
(This is for all of you parents, teachers and caregivers out there)

1) Get a deep breath.
2) Get centered.
3) Get down – on your child’s level.
4) Get in the game.

For the child in your life:

Step #1: Bring Your Child’s Awareness About His/Her Body

Describe what you see. Feel free to use animation:

“Your feet are going like this__________.”

“Your body is telling me that you might be feeling ________.”

Step #2: Encourage Your Child’s Ability to Talk

“You seem ______. Something happened?”

Step #3: Encourage Your Child’s Ability to Think and Problem Solve

“So you’d like to do _________ instead. It’s hard to _________.”

“What can you think of that would be different?”*

*If the child cannot come up with an idea, help by providing two choices.

These words send the message: “I get that you’re having a hard time. You may not like it, but you can handle it. I’m here, too, and we can get through this together.”

What a powerful message to a child.

It takes a lot of practice to remember these words and concepts in the moment of crisis, but they are worth the practice, effort and inevitable mistakes.

I still mess up and maybe forget a step, but I’m getting better. Each temper tantrum teaches me patience, reinforces trust and lets me know that something isn’t right with Giant or Elf.

I’m here, kids. Let’s figure it out together, shall we?

Best to you and those you love,

Chris

Nurturing Spirit One Moment at a Time

Hi, I’m Chris and I’m a mom to two small reenchanters in training, ages 2 and 5. My oldest is a “giant” in many ways…confidant and curious about the world and the way that it works. He envisions intricate building designs and is able to physically create what he imagines. His is complex and fascinating to those who love him. His questions come in waves, one after the next: “Why do we have blood? How is it made?  Why is honey sticky? Why are our eyes moist? How did the Earth from? Let it be said that Google has become one of my very good friends. My second child, a girl, is lively and spirited. Her energy is magical, joyful and delightful. Cats, owls, cookies and saying the words “me do it” are some of her favorite things.

I discovered the reenchant planet earth movement a long time ago, but I didn’t have a name for what I knew to be true and right. Once I found Marilyn and the ReEnchant Planet Earth movement, I realized that the principles I abided by in my own life and those that I envisioned teaching my children mirrored the philosophy that Marilyn had taken the time to put into words.

Like all of us, I work hard to teach my children to treat others and the earth with care, concern and respect. Some days, I feel like all of my hard work is paying off. Sometimes, I feel like it’s too hard and want to quit living so consciously and mindful of the consequences of my actions.Yet, all too soon, I remember that everything I do creates a ripple…maybe it’s immediate, perhaps I won’t even be aware of it. And that’s when I take a deep breath and keep teaching.

So I invite you to take a walk with me and my family as we travel the reenchanted path. It may not always be the easy path to take, and I still make mistakes but it’s the right path for us…filled with love, compassion and respect for each other and for the earth.

Stay tuned for my next blog when I talk about how to consciously navigate a child’s temper tantrum.