Archive for the ‘planet’ tag

Mom-isms: ReEnchant Style

This week ParentsConnect and Twittermoms.com created a new contest encouraging readers to share their favorite made up words specific to children and parenthood. So many of us have our own little special words for kids, diapers, carpool lanes and lovies and lots of fun-loving folks didn’t mind sharing their favorites. The contest received many humorous and endearing contributions which started me on the path to wondering about my own family’s lexicon now that we have Elf and Giant. In this week’s blog, I share a few of the words that we use quite often at our little Yellow House and you’ll get some insights into our crazy, chaotic and colorful world.

ReEnchant inspires us to look at things from a different perspective, so why not choose the lens of laughs, “oops!” and yikes sometimes?! Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to share your own.

Special thanks to my creative hubby, JR, who got into the spirit by providing his own contributions.

So, without further ado, here are some “Momfinitions”…ReEnchant Style.

Green Ranger: Noun
The special and complimentary name for a person who does a good deed for the earth.

“You turned off the light. You’re such a green ranger!”

Bikosaur: Noun
Term used to describe someone who chooses to use his/her bicycle as transportation rather than for purely recreational purposes.

“We are bikosaurs. We are only one of two families (in a school of close to 1,000 children) who choose to ride our bicycles to school and back home on a regular basis.”

Yadowat: (ya’-do-wat) Interjection
The word, spoken with an inquisitive and rather alarmed tone, we heard after informing school officials that we ride our bicycles to school.

Me: “Yes, we ride our bikes to school.”

School officials/representatives: “Yadowat!? Isn’t that dangerous?
Let me have you fill out a form…just
in case.”

The Eagle: Noun
At the Yellow House, this is the code word for poo in the bathtub.

“Oh no, there’s an Eagle in the bathtub! Everybody get out now!!!”

Note: The term, The Eagle, is not to be confused with the historically important phrase, “The Eagle Has Landed.” Although that’d be really funny to hear coming from the bathroom.

Dust Blindness: Noun
Pretending that you don’t see the dust that’s accumulated on your furniture while you’ve been busy supporting, educating, feeding, nursing, debriefing, guiding and coaxing reluctant children to do what they’re supposed to be doing, cooking and preparing umpteen “nutritious” meals and snacks a day, “doing” the laundry, washing and drying the dishes, shopping, vacuuming, taking care of the bills, taxi-ing children to and fro, taking care of the household correspondence AND that’s all on top of working your full or part-time job that pays a salary, which is probably too low for what you actually do.

“Yes, I’d love to invite you over for lunch today, but I’m just recovering from Dust Blindness and the house really needs some attention.”

Aqualanche: Noun
Term for the water that ends up running out of the bathtub and onto the bathroom floor when your kids decide to play Star Wars in the bathtub.

“Oh no! We just had an aqualanche and I’m out of clean towels to dry the floor! But at least Han Solo and Chewbacca are safe.”

Neotopia: Noun
Name for the ideal world where first aid products like Neosporin and Hello Kitty band aids can be found in every draw of your home, car and purse/diaper bag AND are quickly accessible in the event of an emergency.

“We were out in the middle of a hike when she feel and hurt her knee. I left all of my first aid supplies back in the car! This never would have happened if we lived in Neotopia…”

Tantrumathon: Noun
The days when each one of your children has more than one meltdown.

Message heard on an answering machine: “It’s 100 degrees outside, the air conditioning doesn’t work and I’m out of popsicles. I’d come answer the phone, but I’m living in the midst of a tantrumathon!”

Vanicide: Noun
The act of signing the purchase paperwork for the van you swore you’d never buy.

“I’ve committed vanicide. I’m now the proud owner of a minivan…but at least it’s red.”

Sardining: Verb
Squeezing two children in the bathtub at the same time in order to save time…oh, and water, too! Bonus points if you can squeeze in there too for a quick shampoo and rinse.

“Elf and Giant had a great time sardining in the tub tonight. It was a cozy fit, but when you’ve got an imaginary coffee house to run, tight quarters can make for a very efficient business.”

*Descending Medicalitus: Noun
After the first child, the declining need to administer immediate first aid and place high-priority calls at all hours of the day and night to the pediatrician with each successive child that you have.

“Elf has a fever. It’s not high. I just gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed. She’ll be fine. If this had happened with Giant when he was this age, I would have been at the pediatrician’s office ASAP!”

*Germflow: Adjective
The faster-than-a-speeding-train way that germs take in passing from one child to the next, especially in families.

“Wow! I had no sooner gotten Elf home from the doctor than Giant had pink eye, too! Two trips and two co-pays to the pediatrician all in one day.”

*JR’s creative spark at work

Parenthood is tough, rocky and a gift to those fortunate enough to live it. May you find love, laughter and goodness in the coming week. Enjoy the gift and then remember to pass it on to others.

Chris

You Are The Calm To Your Child’s Storm: A New Take on Temper Tantrums

So you want to know how things are coming along in the Calm Down Corner (CDC)? Yes, I can see you nodding your head. Well, I’m nervous about jinxing us here in the yellow house but also quite pleased to report that Giant’s daily practice sessions in the Calm Down Corner seem to be having a positive impact. He continues to see this place as a peaceful, good spot in our home, which is precisely what we intend for it to be. Consistent, daily practice is what seems to be helping to create a path to success.

While the CDC has had a successful launch, I’d be lying if I said that we are living a tantrum-free life. Not by a long shot…

Prevention is the first goal. However, there are days when emotions boil over, patience runs out, bellies are hungry, bodies are worn out and at least around here, the weather can be quite hot and steamy. You can feel the energy rising. Sometimes you can see it, too. Your child’s voice tightens, the face winces and then…watch out…here it comes.

So what to do with a screaming, thrashing and wiggling body? Today I want to share a perspective on bringing your little one back to reality after he/she’s passed the threshold from almost-tantrumming to the throes of a mind-blowing temper tantrum.

In her book, Conscious Discipline, Becky Bailey talks a lot about empathy, the ability and willingness to “be” with another person. During a temper tantrum, Bailey encourages parents, teachers and caregivers of young children to serve as the child’s mirror. “Empathy requires we listen to children’s thoughts and feelings without the need to change them. It is not about “happying up” children. It’s about leaving them with their situation or choice so they can reflect and take responsibility. Empathy helps organize the brain.” And so empathy requires that we listen to the child without changing the problem or the child’s feelings.

Now it must be said that the following really does work much better with Giant (5) than it does for Elf (2). However, I am able to use it in a very modified version for Elf, who is quite verbal. And I do get to practice this a lot with Elf, often several times a day, as she is two years old…very two.

Adults can help children who are having a difficult time navigating disappointment, frustration and/or anger by serving as their mirrors. Slow and thoughtful observations and careful listening help bring a child out of a scary and frightening space. It’s the same as a life guard who guides and supports someone who’s drowning to solid ground. We cannot expect kiddos to be able to do this by themselves until they are much older. Even then, have you ever known an adult who can’t or won’t gracefully deal with strong feelings? I know I’ve met one or two along the way.

So without further ado, I give you the Bailey method, which has been a power-house tool for helping us and our children handle their most difficult moments. This one is for us…

Step #1:
(This is for all of you parents, teachers and caregivers out there)

1) Get a deep breath.
2) Get centered.
3) Get down – on your child’s level.
4) Get in the game.

For the child in your life:

Step #1: Bring Your Child’s Awareness About His/Her Body

Describe what you see. Feel free to use animation:

“Your feet are going like this__________.”

“Your body is telling me that you might be feeling ________.”

Step #2: Encourage Your Child’s Ability to Talk

“You seem ______. Something happened?”

Step #3: Encourage Your Child’s Ability to Think and Problem Solve

“So you’d like to do _________ instead. It’s hard to _________.”

“What can you think of that would be different?”*

*If the child cannot come up with an idea, help by providing two choices.

These words send the message: “I get that you’re having a hard time. You may not like it, but you can handle it. I’m here, too, and we can get through this together.”

What a powerful message to a child.

It takes a lot of practice to remember these words and concepts in the moment of crisis, but they are worth the practice, effort and inevitable mistakes.

I still mess up and maybe forget a step, but I’m getting better. Each temper tantrum teaches me patience, reinforces trust and lets me know that something isn’t right with Giant or Elf.

I’m here, kids. Let’s figure it out together, shall we?

Best to you and those you love,

Chris